plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
