i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
