I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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