remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Please don't give away my fajitas
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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