why didn't you poke me back
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
