She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
