In the future we'll all be gay
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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