So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
