No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Randomize
