Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
