He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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