I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
