What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
