i can't believe i had my finger in that
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
