What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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