Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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