wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
