It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
