Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
