at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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