Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
