I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
