I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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