What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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