similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
