No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
