i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
