All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
