If i come over, it means nothing
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
