Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
