brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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