JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We talked him into tasing himself.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
