Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
