i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
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