Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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