i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
