Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
