Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
