I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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