Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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