can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
