My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
