You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
