I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
