your room smells of hookers.
And success
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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