I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
