wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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