So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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