Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
