Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
wrigley field is MILF paradise
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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