who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Barsexuality is the new black.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
