Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize