i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
