do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize