I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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