Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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