I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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