You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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