im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
