Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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