whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
