can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
then he tried to convert me to islam
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
