nut hugger
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
