I'm drive I can fine osifer
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
